Thursday, June 21, 2007

Commonly misunderstood medical terms

Dr Nkosazana Zuma's Medical Terms

Artery: The study of paintings

Bacteria: Back door of the cafeteria

Barium: What you do with dead patients

Bowels: A E I O U

Caesarian Section: A suburb in Rome

Catscan: A search for kitty

Cauterize: making eye contact with the nurse

Colic: A Sheepdog

D & C: Where Washington is

Dilate: To live longer

Enema: Not your friend

Fester: Quicker

Genital: not a jew

Impotent: Distinguished and well known

Labour pain: getting hurt at work

Medical staff: Doctors walking stick

Morbid: Higher offer

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates

Node: was aware of

Out patient: A person who's fainted

Pap smear: A fatherhood test

Pelvis: A cousin of Elvis

Post operative: A letter courier

Recovery room: A place where you do upholstery

Rectum: Damn near killed him

Sciatic: An attic with a view

Seizure: The Roman Emperor

Tablet: Small Table

Terminal illness: .......when you get sick at the airport

Tumor: More than one people

Urine: The opposite of "you're out"

Varicose: Nearby

Vein: Conceited

ZUMA: Zero Understanding of Medical Affairs

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